Let's Take a Step Back...

As I left class tonight, I stopped to talk to a few friends of mine outside, and then prepared to go home. I had a 20 minute drive ahead of me, but for some reason, I had a brief moment stillness and peacefulness. Granted, it is relatively cold outside, but I didn't mind. I just stood there a moment and thought, "Am I satisfied with where I'm at?" "What do I have to look forward to in the future?" Now, I don't want to get all sentimental or anything, but do you just take a moment and think of where you are in life, and how you got there?

I think my whole thought process started in class, where two students were presenting on personal finance. Their presentation made me think about my own finances; do I know what I am preparing for? I know that I spend most of my money paying down debt, from school loans to my car loan. Once I get into a thinking perspective, something about the peacefulness of the night draws other thoughts. I think I'm starting to get redundant...

Anyway, do you think about your childhood, or about things that you wish you could change? I can personally think of several, including a defining moment in my childhood that would eventually shape my current personality.

When I started the 4th grade, my family had just moved, and I was going to a new school. I knew nobody in my classes, and it was a very awkward situation for me. During the first several weeks, I thought I had made a friend at school, but I was wrong. My "friend", who I will call "Tim", started picking on me. For some reason he thought I had an enormous head, similar to that of Mr. Mackey on the show South Park. Tim found a creative name for me would be "Big Head". Well, for a while, this didn't bother me. However, after some time, it became pretty told, and very irritating. Since I didn't have much self-esteem at the time, I became depressed, and became relatively introverted.

Several years later my personal thoughts of myself were still low, until the point where I had another opportunity to change my current situation. After my freshman year of high school, I transferred to a private Catholic school. I decided that I wasn't going to put up with the same crap I did before, so I took on a new outlook. Over time, I gathered a satirical sense of humor, turning any negative comments towards me into a joke. My sense of humor rubbed off well on others, and I regained confidence in myself.

The point of all of this is that sometimes we forget what events have shaped who we are. We are always focused on the present and the future, but don't think about the past. I'm not saying dwell on the past, because we can't change it. We can, however, learn from it and create a future that is invigorating and filled with hope.

...By the way, I'm not going to keep writing about sentimental moments like this in the future...